As we move toward the holiday season, we can look forward to the experience of so many good things such as the overall joy for the season, precious time with family and friends, wonderful foods, finding/receiving just the right gifts, baking holiday cookies, and other fun holiday traditions.
We can also experience some not-so-fun things like stress brought on by finances, time constraints, endless to do lists, planning, loading up the kids, traveling from one event to another, sadness, loneliness, and the list goes on. Especially during these months our self-care routines seem to take a back seat because it’s difficult to find the time to fit ourselves into the busy-ness of the season.
I implore you to take steps and prepare for the stresses of the season before they arrive.
Stresses? I’ve been there too. After my 17-year marriage ended, I was a single mom for 10 years. My daughter and I lived a couple of hours from our nearest relative, so we were always traveling to one holiday event or another. Money was tight, gas prices were high, and vacations were sparse.
I was in the mode of working long hours at my job and commuted to another city each day. I was pursuing my Master’s degree and as you can probably imagine “me time” was non-existent. It was difficult to get to my daughter’s school events or find as much time as I wanted to spend with her. Things were always pulling me away and when I was there, I was often a guilt-ridden, worried, stressed mess.
During these years, the first activities that seemed to get put on the back burner were my self-care activities: working out, reading, quiet time, walking, wandering in nature, listening to birds singing, time out with my own girlfriends, watching a movie, etc. I was often exhausted and frustrated and had too many things on my “to do” list. Even if I was able to sneak an activity in, I wasn’t really present and my mind was worrying elsewhere.
I was that stereotypical “Type A” personality and mistakenly wore my workaholic tendencies as a badge of honor – can you relate? I’m sure my daughter (and those around me) could sense my low frequency energy vibrations even though I did my best to put on a happy face disguise and pretend everything was fine. Our kids are very intuitive little people and our energies can be felt by everyone around us.
I knew self-care would help me, but couldn’t seem to fit it in.
Perhaps I could have weathered that long storm in a more empowering and healthy way. If I would have regarded myself as important and made my self-care and self-love a priority (instead of viewing it as a weakness), I would have been so much better…more present, happier, more giving to self, more relaxed, a better mom, and better able to handle the stresses and guilt and fears I was feeling at that time instead of burying them so deeply.
If I would have practiced more compassion and kindness for myself and set a few more boundaries – said “no” to others more often, perhaps I could have staved off the detrimental (and almost fatal) health concerns I experienced a few years ago after decades of chronic stress. Perhaps my relationships would have been better, deeper, and more enjoyable and I wouldn’t have been tackling life as a lone wolf.
All my life I found I was over-giving to others from my half full cup instead of filling them from the saucer, the overflow of my own full cup. I didn’t fill myself first and was giving from what I didn’t have to give. It depleted me.
Does any of my story resonate with you?
Since then, I’ve learned to fill my cup first, not become depleted, and master my energy so that my lows are few and far between. I’ve learned just how bad it can get when I fail to make self-care a non-negotiable priority.
I’d love to invite you to begin or restart a self-care routine now…before the holidays get here. You are worthy, you are enough, and you matter. Your self-care time is so very important. Self-love is imperative to your health and wellbeing.
We do everything better when we fill ourselves first with love. Happy Holidays!
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